You may hear the term “throuple” at some point. It’s a strange-sounding word, like something out of Dr. Seuss. It’s a word that first came into the public consciousness a few years ago, though it doesn’t come up in many circles.
The throuple is a relationship based on sex, romantic connection, or both, but it involves three people rather than two. We’ll take a moment today to talk about it, so you’ll know what someone means if they say they are in one.
How Throuples Form
Most people like to date one individual at a time. However, you sometimes find people who are polyamorous. This happens a lot on the West Coast, but you can find them in other places as well.
Polyamory means “many loves,” and it means someone who’s in multiple sexual or romantic relationships at the same time. They don’t hide this from their partners.
The throuple often forms from out of the polyamory community. You have three individuals who like or love one another and try to make it work between the three of them.
The Challenges of Being in a Throuple
Many people have a tough enough time being in a relationship with one other person and making it work in the long term. You have to trust that person not to cheat on you, and you also presumably want to trust them to take care of you if you’re hurt or ill. You commit yourselves to one another, and you often declare that to the world by marrying or cohabitating.
If you’re in a committed relationship with one person, you can rely on them to pick the kids up from school or to have a joint bank account with you. You might ask them to care for you when you’re bedridden and have a Stage 2 pressure ulcer or some other serious ailment.
If you and two other people, rather than one, try to commit yourselves to one another, it means that you can’t get jealous easily. You can’t start to feel like the two people love each other or care about each other more than they love or care about you, or the whole thing generally falls apart.
How Those in a Throuple Make It Work
No two throuples are identical, but generally, you have these three people who are trying to love one another equally. That’s the only way that no jealousy can enter into it.
Throuples are unusual because most people don’t feel like they can share themselves with multiple partners. It’s different from a couple who is sexually adventurous and enjoys swinging. Those couples know that even if they have their playmates, they’ve still committed themselves to one another when the chips are down.
Some throuples all sleep together in the same bed. Others might share two bedrooms and have a schedule where two sleep in one bedroom and one sleeps alone each night. Then, they rotate.
Might a Throuple Work for You?
This whole idea definitely flies in the face of societal convention. That’s why you might know someone who is in one of these three-person relationships, but they’ll never admit it to you. It’s only in certain parts of the country where this sort of thing is more common that they might not conceal their lifestyle.
Some throuples raise children together. These children essentially have three parental figures in their lives, regardless of who gave birth to them.
At this point, you might wonder about whether you could ever be in such a relationship. If you’re single, maybe you like the idea of dating two people together instead of one.
If this type of thing interests you, there are always websites and message boards for individuals who want to try it. You can give it a shot and then go back to dating one-on-one if it doesn’t work out.
Some people look at this sort of thing as a temporary life phase or an adventure that they try for a little while, but then they go back to a traditional relationship. However, there are always the people who try this out and feel like it’s what they’ve wanted all their lives.
It’s fascinating to think there are people out there who make this work. It seems like the throuple will always be relatively rare, though, simply because many people tend to get jealous if they’re not the only person to whom their partner has romantically attached themselves.